From Victim to Survivor to Thriver

Abuse can come in plenty of forms and the road to recovery can be hard…this is a list of what the stages of recovery are that goes on in the heart. It is normal to grow and heal in stages and your thoughts might be all over the board. Someone might be strong in some thoughts, while weaker in other thoughts. This list shows where your mind is and its normal to identify with the victim in some categories, and the survivor in other categories and the thriver in other categories…healing is a work in progress….

  • Victim  Doesn’t deserve nice things or trying for the “good life”
  • Survivor  Struggling for reasons & chance to heal
  • Thriver  Gratitude for everything in life.
  • Victim  Low self esteem/shame/unworthy
  • Survivor  Sees self as wounded & healing
  • Thriver  Sees self as an overflowing miracle
  • Victim  Hyper vigilant
  • Survivor  Using tools to learn to relax
  • Thriver  Gratitude for new life
  • Victim  Alone
  • Survivor  Seeking help
  • Thriver  oneness.
  • Victim  Feels Selfish
  • Survivor  Deserves to seek help
  • Thriver  Proud of Healthy Self caring
  • Victim  Damaged
  • Survivor  Naming what happened
  • Thriver  Was wounded & now healing
  • Victim  Confusion & numbness
  • Survivor  Learning to grieve, grieving past aggrieved trauma
  • Thriver  Grieving at current losses
  • Victim  Overwhelmed by past
  • Survivor  Naming & grieving what happened
  • Thriver  Living in the present
  • Victim  Hopeless
  • Survivor  Hopeful
  • Thriver  Faith in self & life
  • Victim  Uses outer world to hide from self
  • Survivor  Stays with emotional pain
  • Thriver  Understands that emotional pain will pass & brings new insights
  • Victim  Hides their story
  • Survivor  Not afraid to tell their story to safe people.
  • Thriver  Beyond telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing with HP
  • Victim  Believes everyone else is better, stronger, less damaged
  • Survivor  Comes out of hiding to hear others & have compassion for them & eventually self
  • Thriver  Lives with an open heart for self & others
  • Victim  Often wounded by unsafe others
  • Survivor  Learning how to protect self by share, check, share
  • Thriver  Protects self from unsafe others
  • Victim  Places own needs last
  • Survivor  Learning healthy needs (See Healing the Child Within & Gift to Myself)
  • Thriver  Places self first realizing that is the only way to function & eventually help others
  • Victim  Creates one drama after another
  • Survivor  See patterns
  • Thriver  Creates peace
  • Victim  Believes suffering is the human condition
  • Survivor  Feeling some relief, knows they need to continue in recovery
  • Thriver  Finds joy in peace
  • Victim  Serious all the time
  • Survivor  Beginning to laugh
  • Thriver  Seeing the humour in life
  • Victim  Uses inappropriate humour, including teasing
  • Survivor  Feels associated painful feelings instead
  • Thriver  Uses healthy humour
  • Victim  Uncomfortable, numb or angry around toxic people
  • Survivor  Increasing awareness of pain & dynamics
  • Thriver  Healthy boundaries around toxic people, incl. relatives
  • Victim  Lives in the past
  • Survivor  Aware of patterns
  • Thriver  Lives in the Now
  • Victim  Angry at religion
  • Survivor  Understanding the difference between religion & personal spirituality
  • Thriver  Enjoys personal relationship with the God of their understanding
  • Victim  Suspicious of therapists– projects
  • Survivor  Sees therapist as guide during projections
  • Thriver  Sees reality as their projection & owns it
  • Victim  Needs people & chemicals to believe they are all right
  • Survivor  Glimpses of self-acceptance & fun without others 
  • Thriver  Feels authentic & connected, Whole
  • Victim  “Depression”
  • Survivor  Movement of feelings 
  • Thriver  Aliveness

I wish I knew where this article came from. A friend came shared it with me and I thought it was very insightful. 🙂

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