Orgasm during Sexual Abuse

Just a thought: If you can’t freely say no, then how can you ever freely say yes?

Blooming Lotus

Looking out over ocean (c) Lynda BernhardtI frequently see people struggle with the fact that their bodies reacted to a rape or other form of sexual abuse by having an orgasm. People wrestle with whether the sexual abuse could have been “that bad” if they had an orgasm during it. Also, some people who first began having orgasms during sexual abuse as young children question whether this means that they were some sort of “bad seed” who brought the sexual abuse on themselves.

It is actually quite common for a person’s body to react to sexual abuse or rape with an orgasm. This does not mean that you wanted the sexual contact or that you enjoyed it. This is simply an indicator that your body was working the way it was designed to work.

Human beings are born into the world wired to respond to sexual contact. Baby boys often get erections during a diaper change…

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3 thoughts on “Orgasm during Sexual Abuse

  1. I can’t believe your writing about this. I can’t talk to anyone about what happnd. It was a gangrape at a college party. It was a year ago and I still feel bad cause of “cumming” for those guys. I feel like they kind of made me do it but I dont know if it’s okay to blame them for that. I mean I do for the rest of it. But I still dont even know if THEY knew it was rape.
    I dont want to go into it here. But even tho I have a therapist and talked on the rape hotlines, no one knows that I came all those times during it. Except the guys I guess.

    I feel awful all the time about it.

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    • I’m sorry if this offended you in any way. I reblogged it because I think a lot of victims go through this and wanted to speak up for all those suffering. Thank you for sharing such an intimate detail of your abuse. It wasn’t your fault and I hope your therapist is helping you to see that. My thought is, rape is a crime, talking about it isn’t, And I healing is so important that we need to speak about it so people can heal sooner. I held onto my rapes for 7-12 years before speaking about it. That’s too long.

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    • Orgasms are controlled by the Parasympathetic nervous system which you do not control. It’s not about enjoying it. If scientists were to make a machine designed to make someone orgasm, it would.

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