It’s been a while since I have posted on there. It’s been a few crazy months for me.
First off, the month of April was filled with talking to prosecutor secretaries, making phone calls, reporting my abuser in the police station, meeting with a detective, digging out evidence I had of other abuse she did over a decade ago and so much more! I still do now know where the case against K is going, but I do feel loads better reporting her to the authorities, especially after they confirmed things with others who were around at that same time. For so long, I knew this little boy’s name (another one she abused), but never thought that they would FIND him and he CONFIRM IT. Obviously the cop couldn’t say much… wish I knew how the case ends, but its only been a few months.
May was full of divorce and attorney crap. I am currently divorcing (yet another) abuser that I had been married to for about 5 years. I never realized the things he was doing was abusive until speaking to my friends (finally after years of silence). He is trying for custody of our child and has pushed the divorce proceedings back for another few months. So I was dealing with possible court dates and trying to come to an agreement before we spent MORE money! Nothing was accomplished.
Now, it’s June, and my baby is with her dad for Summer visitation. Definitely something I will have to get used to. Had someone today tell me “secretly every mother is jealous of you right now.” I’m like what the hell kind of crap is that?! IF YOU EVEN KNEW WHAT I WAS REALLY GOING THROUGH. Bitch shut your mouth!
Anyways, that’s what I’ve been dealing with. And in the process, I have been trying to understand what my ex has done. So far, I have comprehended… emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, and spiritual abuse. I am still in denial about most of it, but I can feel the effects of what he has done. My friends told me that they knew he was abusive, but they didn’t realize he was THIS abusive.
I have a headache right now, but I do want to delve deeper into all of this on a different time.
Two years ago, I started dealing with being raped by my first boyfriend. I am still astounded about how different my life is and how much abuse I see that I have endured since that time. Life after rape… Yeah, that about says it all! I may be lost, but I am so much better than I was!